Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize