Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
