i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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