omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
