I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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