Can Purell be used as lube?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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