you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we made out on top of his cat.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
