I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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