reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
