***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
