It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
