I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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