She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
