Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
