Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
