someone threw a dead crab at me
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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