Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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