I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
