i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
