white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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