Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
