so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
