Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
