actually, I'm a sock model
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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