i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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