you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
