All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
