Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize