now i know why i became what i already was.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
