I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can't motorboat a personality
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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