I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
