I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This is my gift to your gina
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
