I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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