I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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