Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
this will be a night to untag.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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