I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
