I wanna passion pit in your ass
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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