had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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