Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
