i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
