would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My ass is underappreciated
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
