You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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