the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
