You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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