well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
