okay pat passed out under dana's car
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
