I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
