Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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