gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
