My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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