Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
