Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
