Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
