he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
