Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
