ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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