I'm gonna have a badass scar
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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