Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
