Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
