all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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