Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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