I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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