He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
